Struggling

I'm obviously  struggling to keep up with this personal project of mine.  It's quite frustrating that it just doesn't naturally fall into place.  I promised myself I would at least post one entry in a month at the very minimum.  Now I find myself on the last day of February without any progress.  It saddens me to see how little I've done.  What is the challenge?  I just don't have the time, energy or focus?  There are definite upswings in momentum but I need to harness that and maintain the flow.  I'm tired of all these blog entries being about what I hope to do and nothing actually following through with any of it.  I have acquired some DVDs and even an old VHS tape that I will eventually watch and take notes.  When this will honestly happen, who knows?  I have plenty of books I could be reading too.  To be fair, it was a brutal month at work and it still continues to drain me.  Behind a desk all day burns me out by the time I get home and usually don't want anything to do with a computer.  I take the evening to rest. I guess all journey's have their ups and downs. I hope this is merely a hurdle along the path.  I know I am truly interested in gaining a deeper understanding of my aunt's participation in the Nicaraguan revolution.  I do like to imagine how I will retell and share her story with the world.  I just hope I can get out of the dream and enter reality. It is time to wake up. The resting must end.